How I Would Fix the Ending to Scott Pilgrim vs The World

OK, we jump in a time machine. No wait, first we invent a time machine. Then go back in time. Kidnap a young Simon Pegg circa 1997 or so. Any time before he did Spaced really. Put him in this movie instead of Michael Cera, and boom, perfect movie.

But ok ok ok, I suppose that doesn’t really solve the inherent problem with the ending of the film, where we see a triumphant Scott Pilgrim go off to travel the globe with his new girlfriend, Ramona Flowers. An ending that doesn’t sit well with many fans, thus bringing to life the eternal question.

Should Scott have ended the movie with Ramona Flowers or……. Knives Chau?

But are those really the only options? Should either of these women even want Scott by the end of the movie? And should he even want them?

I would argue the best ending to the movie, the one that leaves all of the characters not only happy but most importantly set up for the most long-term happiness is one in which none are romantically involved by the end.

Well, except Wallace Wells, of course. Get him another fine, young…… nope, not gonna finish that thought. Nooooooo. Sorry, Wallace.

Sorry Wallace.

So what is this Scott Pilgrim vs The World movie anyway, some of you may be asking. Well, it’s an amazing movie. Go watch it. Right now. And then come back. I’ll wait…….

Did you just tell me to go fuck myself? Listen, this is one of my favorite movies of all time. You will fucking watch it, or I’m not finishing this article.

Oh fine.

Scott Pilgrim vs The World is a 2010 fantasy movie in which our main character, Scott Pilgrim, bass player in the band Sex Bob-omb and all-around slacker nobody, falls for a mysterious girl, Ramona Flowers, who’s been showing up in his dreams for weeks. He does all he can to find her and date her, despite already being in a relationship with the much-younger Knives Chau.

When he finally successfully convinces Ramona to see him, he quickly finds that a self-proclaimed League of Evil Exes are lurking in the shadows, seeking to control Ramona’s love life.

And soon, Scott finds himself having to fight each of Ramona’s exes one-by-one in a battle to the death…. Or to the coins. Cause you see, whenever he successfully defeats each one, they explode into coins. Which he then scoops up and uses for the bus. So…. I guess they’re dead? It’s pretty dark when you think about it.

Pictured: One soon-to-be dead man and one absolute monster.

Complicating things is his own newly minted ex, Knives, who isn’t taking their break-up well and is looking to win Scott back. Meanwhile, Sex Bob-omb has the opportunity of a lifetime in a battle of the bands music tournament, hosted by a successful record producer.

All of these stressful situations combine to take a toll on his burgeoning relationship with Ramona, taking a penultimate turn when Ramona leaves Scott for her most recent ex and leader of the League, Gideon Gordon, who also happens to be the before-mentioned record producer. He has a mind control chip on her, you see. These things happen.

Scott ultimately fights to win her back but not before he learns a little more about himself, grows emotionally and works to heal the wounds he’s inflicted on the people around him along the way. He defeats Gideon and drifts off into the sunset with Ramona. The end.

Happy ending? Just a couple basic bitches.

But I mean, you cannot possibly describe even a glimmer of this movie’s brilliance in a plot synopsis. This movie is just crammed to the gills with personality. The visuals are amazing. The video game references. The characters. It’s so goddamn fun. It’s one of my absolute favorite movies.

What? How old am I? Thirty-eight.

So anyway. I’m sure what a lot of you are thinking is, what’s so wrong with the movie’s ending? Scott spent the whole movie fighting for Ramona. Why shouldn’t he end up with her? What was the point of any of that if they don’t end the movie together?

And you wouldn’t be alone. In fact, writer/director Edgar Wright thought the exact same thing. The original ending didn’t have Scott with Ramona, it ended with him re-igniting his relationship with Knives.

But that ending never sat well with Wright, and it didn’t do well in test screenings. And it’s easy to understand why. We like our movies to have a rhythm. We want everything to fit together like a perfect puzzle piece. You fight for the girl. You get the girl in the end. It’s how stories have been told since the beginning of time.

Isn’t that right, Gaston?

Ok, not exactly always.

But for a lot of people, that is the wrong ending. After all, isn’t it Knives who fights for Scott the whole movie? Where’s her justice? It doesn’t help that Ramona is a bit of a wet blanket throughout the film. And her chemistry with Scott is well, can you have negative chemistry with somebody?

Burn out my fucking eyes.

Ya, they had negative chemistry.

But this isn’t a problem one can solve with a simple casting change. Much as I still dream of my time machine-inspired Simon Pegg casting. And to understand why, we have to focus on the journeys each of these characters undergo.

First, Scott Pilgrim, like a vast swathe of young white men is a giant, selfish narcissist throughout. And the film doesn’t shy away from reminding us that this isn’t just a temporary condition. Scott has always been a bit of a dick.

Pictured: Not a Scott Pilgrim fan.

This isn’t because he’s a rotten person at the core. It’s just that, despite the attempts of many around him, Scott has never taken the time to truly take a look in the mirror and see how his actions have impacted the people around him. He’s never looked at the hurt he’s caused because he’s always been so focused on his own hurt.

So much of this movie is building toward the moment he finally does so. And when he finally recognizes what a massive dipshit he’s been is only when he can finally overcome Gideon, the movie’s final boss. It’s a massive leap of self growth.

But here’s the thing. Recognizing those faults isn’t solving them. Sure, Scott apologizes and says a few nice words to a few of the people he’s hurt. But truly changing the habits and the thinking that goes into those hurtful actions is something that takes time and a lot of introspection.

By the end of the film, Scott’s unfaithfulness to both Ramona and Knives has just been revealed. And it isn’t through a confession of his own. They put the pieces together themselves. You can’t just go from cheating on your high school girlfriend to riding off into the sunset with the new woman, who you also cheated on.

I mean you can. People do it all the time. But what do we think of those people? My guess is we’re not envisioning them as the heroes of our outrageously fun fantasy stories. More often than not, those people are the villains.

So why do we want this from Scott? He’s hurt every woman he’s ever dated. He’s left scorched earth behind him everywhere he’s gone. If he truly cares about Ramona, perhaps it’s best he figures out a way to heal himself and learn to have a responsible relationship where he is an equal partner, emotionally and intellectually with the person he loves.

And perhaps it’s best he gives that moment of healing to them as well. Because…….

Holy shit, Ramona has gone through the ringer in her relationship life, right? Now, I’m not going to dive into every relationship she’s been in. If you want that, then watch the movie. Watch the movie. Watch the movie, you heathens!

The most important part is that mind control chip Gideon has on her. Obviously, that chip is a pretty heavy-handed metaphor to the hold a person can have over someone in every toxic relationship we fail to get out of.

In the movie, Scott defeats Gideon, and that somehow magically removes the chip, freeing Ramona from Gideon’s hold. But that’s not how these things work. You can’t save people from themselves.

Because in the end, staying in a toxic relationship is a choice. A terrible choice we’ve all made at some point. Maybe we do it because we don’t have enough confidence, and we think it’s what we deserve or it’s the best we can do. And we’re afraid. Of how that person will react if we leave. And what our life might look like without them.

At one point in the movie, Ramona tells Scott that maybe what she needs is just a nice guy. But as we know, Scott isn’t necessarily that. Because nobody is. Not in the sense Ramona means.

Because when she says nice, what she means is someone who will never upset her, never hurt her. Someone who will always say the right things. The right thing to make her laugh. The right thing to ease her mind when she’s upset. She wants someone perfect.

But the problem with perfection is it only exists in our mind. It exists in all the ways we don’t know our partner and are able to fill in the gaps with what we want. And ultimately, that’s Ramona’s problem. Because she doesn’t really know what she wants. And she was on a very important journey discovering that until Scott shoehorned his way into her life. And sure, that solved her loneliness for a time. But is it any wonder she wound up right back in the arms of her most toxic ex after him?

Awwww look at the ummm, happy couple?

In the movie, Ramona is damaged. She’s hurt. And sorry Scott, but your ass ain’t fixing that. No one’s can. Only Ramona’s….. ass…. can. That paragraph got away from me.

So ya, Ramona and Scott could both use some alone time to heal and grow. But what about Knives?

Being five years younger than Scott and still in high school, ew Scott, Knives has a journey of growing but not exactly the same one as Scott and Ramona.

At one point, as a way of getting back at Scott, her very first boyfriend, Knives begins dating Young Neil, Scott’s friend and eventual replacement as bassist of the Sex Bob-ombs. (Seriously, coolest fucking band name ever. Sex Bob-omb. Beautiful.)

And while her motivations are not great, though I’d take any unhealthy motivation for bringing us that sweet new hairdo of hers, the idea is sound. Knives absolutely needs to date more. She needs to do a lot of things more because it’s pretty clear she’s been a bit too sheltered in her life.

I just hope nobody punches the highlights out of her hair.

Is Young Neil the answer? Nah. But she’s seventeen years old. She needs to get out there.

In the immortal words of Royal Tenenbaum:

“I’m not talking about dance lessons. I’m talking about putting a brick through the other guy’s windshield. I’m talking about taking it out and chopping it up.”

Go get yours, kid.

But really, all three of them are young. How many truly meaningful and lasting relationships actually begin at their age? Nobody knows yet who they are. And few really know where they’re going.

And in a story like this, no relationship can truly end happily ever after. So why even pretend? Why try to force it?

But I get it. I get it. My ending, while perhaps better thematically to the story being told and better for the well-being of the characters involved, is not at all what we want to see in our movies. Or hell, it’s not even true to how we act in real life.

We want to see the enduring truth of love. We want to believe love will cure all. But it won’t. And maybe it’s time our culture and our stories grow up and face that reality. But hey, I get it. That’s not what we want. Who wants to be alone thinking and growing?

We want someone to fuck.